Pronouns

Gender pronouns are words that an individual would like others to use when talking to or about them.

Just as taking the time to correctly pronounce someone’s name is a sign of caring and respect, asking for and then using their personal pronouns is another way to show that their feelings matter. On the contrary, not using their preferred pronoun can make someone feel devalued and alienated.

With a little effort and awareness on everyone’s part, it’s an easy language fix that can make for a more inclusive environment for all.

While it may be our habit to refer to everyone as “he” or “she” based on appearances, we recognize that gender is a spectrum and we can’t assume a person’s gender or a person’s pronouns based on appearances.

Most people know that she/her and he/him refer to female and male, respectively, but there are some other pronouns that those with other gender identities may prefer to use.

They/Them

While you might have been taught in grammar lessons that they/them are plural nouns, they can also be used as singular, third-person pronouns meaning they/them can refer to an individual. Usually, they/them is a preferred pronoun for a person who does not identify as a male or female.

Ze/Hir

Another pronoun option that some people use is ze/hir. As you can see, these do not refer to a specific gender, and can therefore be more inclusive.

He/him/his

These pronouns can refer to people who identify as boys or men, but are not limited to male people. While he can be an affirming pronoun for some people, we can’t assume that all people who appear to be masculine or affirm a male identity use he/him/his pronouns.

She/her/hers

Similar to the he/him/his set, these pronouns can refer to people who identify as girls or women, but are not limited to female-identified people. Likewise, we can’t assume that all people we assume or know to be female use she/her/hers pronouns.

Just use my name!

Like identities, pronouns can be complex and fluid. Some people don’t use pronouns, some people use different pronouns in different settings, and sometimes we forget to ask for pronouns or aren’t comfortable doing so. It’s appropriate to use the name a person shares with you.

If you misgender someone, we have a few steps for you to keep in mind:

Realize your impact. You may have hurt that person by misgendering or possibly outing them in a public setting. Focus on how you can support the person you misgendered.

Apologize. Remember not to out someone in apologies in public settings. Sometimes a quick apology is most appropriate.

What else can I do to be inclusive?

Add your pronouns to your e-mail

Ask your supervisor if you can add your pronouns to your business cards

Most of the time we use pronouns without giving them a second thought, but when we’re working to be inclusive of people from all gender identities, it is important to consider our use of gendered pronouns when referring to people. A person’s pronouns is part of a person’s identity, just like a name is. It’s important that like a person’s name, we take the time to learn a person’s pronouns rather than making assumptions about how to refer to them in conversation or writing.

-Ananya