Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships damage you in ways you can’t imagine. And it doesn’t necessarily happen only to weak people. Strongest of people get trapped in such toxicity. Relationships evolve. They change and grow over time. Sometimes, they crash and explode. The same things you adored about your partner becomes cringey and irritating. People change and evolve and you might not like the new person your partner has become or vice versa.

What is a toxic relationship?

Every relationship has their own ups and downs. Nothing is perfect but what accounts to be toxic is when there’s always conflict, when one partner is dominating and controlling, abusive and self-centred, etc. A toxic relationship is consistently unpleasant and draining for the people in it, to the point that the negative moments outweigh the number of positive ones. A toxic relationship is mentally, physically and emotionally damaging to one or both the participants.

A toxic relationship doesn't necessarily be romantic, it could be familial, friendships or even workplace relationships.

Signs of a toxic relationship:

➔ Abuse:

This is the most serious and the most obvious sign of a toxic relationship and a toxic partner. Any form of physical violence or verbal abuse is a huge sign of toxicity.

➔ Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a technique where the toxic partner makes you question your own thoughts and feelings. For eg: They make you feel like you have anger issues and that you're the abuser by playing the victim card.

➔ Controlling behaviours:

Your partner always wants to control you. You start feeling that your personal space is being invaded. Always questioning about what you're doing or where you are. And also, lack of trust.

➔ Resentment:

A healthy relationship between two people should never involve resentment. Holding on to grudges for small small things later becomes very toxic.

➔ Dishonesty:

Lying and cheating were never a part of healthy relationships. Trust once broken, is really hard to fix. A relationship without trust can turn you into a jealous and insecure person which is again toxic for both the partners. You should always know when enough is enough, it is!

➔ Jealousy:

Protective jealousy is fine to an extent but this is when your partner no longer feels happy for your achievements and success. He/she becomes your biggest competitor and they just are unable to feel positive about your success.

➔ Stress- All the time:

Relationships are meant to be happy. Your partner should be a source of support and not the source of your stress. If you find yourself constantly getting stressed about your relationship and you're always anxious about your decisions and there's no support/encouragement for what you love from your partner, your relationship is toxic.

➔ Lack of self-love:

If you start forgetting your needs, your happiness, and your existence just to make your partner happy, then honey, you're in a toxic relationship. You should always be your first priority and the rest should be secondary. If you get judged or put down by your partner for putting yourself first, it's a red flag.

➔ Efforts are one-sided:

Relationships can be saved! Only one condition: Both partners should be willing to change/make an effort. A toxic relationship can be saved only if the efforts are 2-sided. Only when change is initiated by both individuals, there can be some change. But if you feel like you're the only one putting effort, then my friend, you should be ready to walk away, because, Self-Respect!!

Relationships are beautiful. Love is real. But when all this gets toxic and starts consuming your mental energy and you start to feel like losing yourself, you should be able to take a stand for yourself. You should be able to decide what's best for you and move forward. Staying in a relationship should never have losing yourself as a condition. You're way too worthier than that.

Indeed, it definitely is important to make sacrifices in relationships but that shouldn't cost you your happiness or your self-respect and self-esteem. A relationship built on love grows, nurtures, restores, replenishes and revives. It never diminishes or dissolves. It isn't cruel or damaging and it never destroys a warm heart. But when you're with someone who suffocates the littlest parts of your being, please stay alive to their damage. You owe them nothing but you owe yourself, EVERYTHING. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve better. You deserve to be happy !

-Af.